The Problem with Moving

In the past, I've had a problem with going through stored belongings. In other words, it would take me a long time to sift through my things. And by things - I am referring to paperwork and other stuff which I have no idea why it was not thrown out in the first place. Thing is - before I could throw it away, I wanted to sift through it. All of it. Until recently.

Now I am moving  and I am finding it easier and easier to just throw out stuff. Suddenly, I just don't care. I just want to finish moving. I don't care as much. I'm careful with things I am sentimental over, but everything else.....out it goes!

(Family: I said MY STUFF - I know some of you have accused me of throwing out mom's things, but I am specifically talking about my own stuff at my own home. I have not gone through mom's things yet.)

It's been interesting. I found like 12 bottles of White Linen (my signature perfume since graduating from high school) saved. For the most part they were empty except for a tiny bit of the scented concoction at the bottom of the bottle. I took a deep breath and threw them away. Then I had a change of heart and took out two of the thrown bottles and kept them - lol - because, well, they had more than "just a little bit" of perfume at the bottom of the bottle. Maybe I can figure out how to extract it. I actually went to Macys once to complain about not being able to take out or use the last of the perfume. I mean, why should I buy another bottle if I can make one full bottle by combining all the "left behind" perfume.

I must also have at least 50 bank boxes of papers - newspapers, kids' school papers, receipts, etc. But for some reason, I feel like I need to go through all of them before tossing them out. Unfortunately, many of them need to be shredded, so it's not as easy to throw those away.

Recently, (about three months now) I started watching "The Big Bang Theory" and love the show. (It's just silly. Plus I have actually learned a few things.) A few days ago, I watched the episode where Sheldon has Amy, his "girlfriend," drive him to a storage unit where he confesses to her he has a problem with throwing things out -- the unit has everything he has ever owned since he was born.

Ok, I'm not that bad - but I do have a lot of unnecessary stuff. I still have my college pom poms and megaphone, the newspapers bearing my first printed stories (Arrowhead Newspaper) and who knows what else.

I did pretty good when I started cleaning - getting a lot accomplished each day. Things have slowed down a bit - but just a bit. Suddenly, knowing what the final goal is, it's easier to throw out things.

Afterall......

"My world is changing, I'm rearranging.....I'm not the same one....see what the time's done...."

My world is changing.....I'm rearranging

Wow - it has been a long time since I've written anything on this blog. Unbelievable! I blame facebook.

I found my blog site again recently and started browsing around -- I honestly can't imagine how I managed my time back then ..... I did so much compared to today.
Thinking specifically of 2005-2008.  Unbelievable.

http://midnightwritings.blogspot.com/2006/01/jan-3-happy-new-year.html

http://midnightwritings.blogspot.com/2006/12/2006-writing-accomplishments.html

http://midnightwritings.blogspot.com/2008/01/reflecting-on-past-year.html


Well, to catch you up ...... I am still writing, but only for one newspaper. I shattered my arm a couple of years ago playing dodgeball and it required surgery. I never went back full time. I work weekends, holidays and special assignments.

My momma died a few months ago and it's been difficult for me. I rarely left her side for the last six months of her life, and was there till the end when she entered Hospice the final two months.
I now care for my handicapped sister - and it's quite challenging...

My three girls are doing great. One graduated from UC Santa Barbara, the other from UCLA. My Down Syndrome little girl almost died last year from Stephen Johnson Syndrome (I'll have to write about it) but is doing awesome now. She attends a special adult program which focuses on the arts and theater, and recently had a lead role in the Creative Center's "Christmas Carol."

Lots of changes recently but I won't get into any of that.

For now, I'll just quote these lines from "Where are you Christmas?"

"My world is changing, I'm rearranging......I'm not the same one....see what the time's done....."

Jamaica 2015

Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to visit Jamaica. I knew I would go someday. That's how I am. If I want something bad enough, I make it happen. So I did. It just took a little longer to do so because I kept finding other places to visit and I kept putting Jamaica on a back burner. Until this year. And - it was everything I always dreamed it would be, plus more.

For one thing, there was a hurricane constantly in the horizon - Hello Danny! Hurricane Danny, that is.... but Carnival is so good at what it does, it managed to constantly stay ahead of it.

They just flipped our itinerary - starting with the furthest away (and closest to hurricane) port and working their way back - and away from the hurricane.

Anyway - Jamaica-- what I really wanted to see - and experience - were the waterfalls in Ocho Rios. I heard there were hundreds (ok, maybe dozens) of them along the mile-long river climb.

For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to do this. Now I can cross it off my list. Jamaica was amazing. We hiked all the way down to the beach and then climbed 1,000 feet up through the river. And I did it! I did the entire climb. I am very proud of that.Unbelieveable. Dunns River Falls was amazing. But there was so much more.

I love watching track and field events (really almost all events) in the Olympics -- and Usain Bolt is one person who Jamaica is proud of, and rightfully so. We drove past William Knibb Memorial High School in Falmouth on our way to Ocho Rios. The bus guide talked quite a bit about the "fastest man in the world" belonging to Jamaica. It was very interesting hearing and learning all about him.


August 2015

I'll return soon to tell you all about my day.

525,600 minutes - The Quarterback

525,600 minutes...... how do you measure, measure a year?

"In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife... In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life? .... How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love. Seasons of love......... 525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?"
(above lyrics are incomplete)


July 13, 2013 was an extremely painful day. It was the day Marisa cried uncontrollably after learning her favorite actor, one she had a huge crush on, and one whose sweet face could be seen on numerous posters across her bedroom walls, had died.That night, we all cried. I love Glee and I loved Finn too. The girls - Catherine and Jennifer - also cried. But no one cried more than Marisa.

"Why? Why?," she sobbed loudly and uncontrollably, to the point of falling down."I love him. I love him with all my heart."

It was painful to watch. All I could do was hold her. We cried together.
What do you say to something like that? Especially since the cause of death was a drug overdose. There was no consoling her.
Finally she looked up and said, "At least Finn didn't die. Just Cory." She was serious too.

Did she really not know the difference? Did she really not know it was the same person? Or was this her way of coping?


Tonight, Glee honored his memory with "The Quarterback" -- a heart-wrenching episode honoring his memory and one that helped Marisa, myself, and fans, with closure. The opening number "525,600 minutes" was touching.

How do you measure a life?

In one of my favorite books - The Fault in Our Stars - which I read recently, is a line I love: "Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."

Why couldn't Cory's life be one of the "bigger" infinities?

Suddenly, I am thinking of another life cut short. One of someone who was very special to me. One of a person I loved with all my heart -- my brother in law, Albert, who died in 2003. Oh, how I wish he had one of the latter infinities.

Albert and I were close. Very close. After I was left alone as a single mother with three small children, ages 1, 3 and 10, he became one of my best friends. A "free spirit" who came and went, he lived with me off and on for years and was always there for me - as a brother, nothing more. Nothing inappropriate.

An artist - Albert painted our windows - a Winnie the Pooh for Jennifer, Hello Kitty for Catherine, Brian from the Backstreet Boys for Marisa, and a white background with yellow butterflies for my bedroom window. I could never wash those windows and to this day, they still have the artwork on them.

My home's front windows still have a snow scene and snowman on a sled, little critters pulling him, on one window; and Bambi playing in a snowy meadow (that spring he added green grass to it) on another window.

When the girls said they wanted a tree house, he built them one in my grapefruit tree. I have climbed it many times over the years.

Albert was also my faithful, frequent companion to Oaks baseball games. Once, when I was without a car, he gave us rides to the game -- on his bicycle. First he took Catherine and Jennifer - Catherine sitting on the handlebars and Jennifer on his knee, one arm around her tiny body. I still am not sure how he steered the bike with just one hand. He dropped them off at the main gate, making sure they were all inside with baseball friends. He returned for Marisa and took her sitting on the handlebars. We only live down the street, so by the time he returned for me, I was almost there and we just walked the last few feet.

When I mentioned I wanted a baseball jersey I had bid on and won signed by the player who wore it, Albert took the jersey from me, snuck into the clubhouse (we were not even at a home game - we were in Bakersfield) and returned with it autographed. "Here you go," he said.

And I will always remember the night he confessed, "I think I am in love with Chatter." -- technically, it was not the mascot he loved, but the girl who wore the outfit. Heart warming memories.

In the fall, it was all about football - his main passion. It was Albert I caught Monday Night football games with on big screens while eating $1 tacos at the Lamp Liter Inn, or while enjoying sandwiches at The Depot.

He would take me dancing on Saturday nights to The Depot and bought me my first margarita.

He knew I loved Harrison Ford, so he accompanied me to the movies once -- even though, he admitted, "Six Days, Seven Nights" was not his type of movie and he would much rather be watching "Star Wars", which was on another screen. "You want to see it. That's all that matters."

Albert would occasionally babysit for me so that I could go with my friend Dennis to catch Porterville College basketball games. When the team made it to some championship-type games (can't remember what exactly - either Elite Eight or Final Four Championship - kind of games, it was Albert who drew on big white sheets - which I took to the games in Irvine (he also did it for me to take to Reedley and one for a COS game.) I remember also making it to Sacramento for a game but don't believe I took a sheet.

When Marisa graduated, he did the same thing for her..... drawing Marisa's image, with cap and gown, on a large sheet. He was an amazing artist.

Why couldn't Albert have more infinity minutes?

"You get me through Christmas, and I'll get you through New Year's," he would tell me each year.

He hated Christmas. I hated New Years. But that's a whole other story and I'm not going there tonight.

"Listen," he told me once, cupping my chin in his hand and forcing my tear-streaked face up so that I could see his face. "It may not be this year. It may not be next year. But one day -- maybe in December, maybe on New Years Day -- something wonderful is going to happen to you. You will know the moment it happens. And you are going to remember this day. You are going to remember me telling you this. "

Oh Albert, why did you have to go? You were too young. I miss you. I need you - and not just on New Year's Day. 525,600 minutes. Where are you? I want more minutes.

Two hearts, two families - now one

Two hearts, two lives, two families - now one.
Everything about Kristina and Gary Buckingham's wedding yesterday was beautiful. From the moment their children took the first steps down the aisle to the final dance - I could not stop smiling. This family is beautiful and blessed. I love them so much and it was an honor to be at their wedding.

It was held at Everygreen Island - a lusciously green wedding venue with pond, waterfalls, fountains, thick grass and hundreds of trees and plants -- and flying Monarch butterflies through the entire ceremony. Beautiful!

First down the aisle were the parents - the father of the groom, a recent widow, accompanied by a friend.

My sister Lily, - the mother of the bride - walked down the aisle on the arm of her handsome son, Daniel. Too precious!

 Then came the children of the groom and bride. I loved seeing them walk down the aisle before the wedding party walked down. "Marry You" played as five of their seven children walked in. First, gorgeous Sabrina, the eldest, on the arm of her boyfriend, Jordan. Followed by Rebekkah, Gary, Alyssa and baby Jacob. Aaron and Anthony walked in later.

"It's a beautiful day.....hey, baby......I think I want to marry you."

The bridal party entered next, couples and the little flower girl, Bella - cousin of the bride.

Just before the bride, Aaron walked down the aisle alone. He was holding a wooden plaque with "Here Comes the Bride" written across it.
If you looked to the front, Gary was down on one knee, with two arms outstretched, beckoning him forward. Precious! But it was what I saw next that almost literally took my breath away. I always love watching the groom as the bride walks in..... and seeing Gary - with so much love, I can not even describe it. It is something I will never forget. I turned to see what he was looking at and there she was - the most beautiful bride ever. My tears rolled down - happy tears, as Marisa calls them - as I watched Kristina walk towards the front; "A Thousand Years" playing as she walked towards the altar - towards Gary.


"Time stands still, beauty in all she is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me. Every breath, every hour has come to this....."

Their own wedding vows, the kiss, and the fun fast-beat number as the bride and groom, and wedding party, walked and danced down the aisle after the ceremony -all different and cute.

The sweet bar, hors devours - stuffed mushrooms and stuffed jalapeno-bacon wraps, along with chips and salsa - and the dinner: smoked triptip, chicken, zucchini, scalloped potatoes, garlic bread and that amazing spinach and walnut and feta cheese salad in vinaigrette dressing was to die for! (But glad we didn't.)

The dance was so much fun! And Kristina asked the DJ to play one of my favorite dance numbers - that's right - "Play that Funky Music, White Boy!" -- I had to hit dance floor and James even got up and danced with me. Fun fun fun.

I loved being there yesterday. The ceremony, the bride and groom's children, my family, the butterflies, the flowers, the cake, the dinner, the dance - I loved it all.

I had so much fun and felt so much love. I love this family. (ok, I'm crying again)

Mr. and Mrs. Gary Buckingham - I adore and love you, your lives, your family! Thank you for letting me be a part of your special day.

If I can figure out how to add video clips - I'll add some, but so far, no such luck.

Must do before my 2013 birthday

Birthday "to do" list - must do before September 2013 ends
(Update: 9/28/13 - I managed to check off 8 of these - that's half of them - not bad.
Second Update:  I got to check a few more checked off in 2015/2016.)

2012 Birthday dinner at The River

I am a "list" person - I love lists. It's the way I stay organized. 

If I have a list, I can cross things off as I get them done. 

I have lists for everything - groceries, chores, things to do, things to try, song lists, project lists, book lists, assignment lists.... on and on it goes. I also have an "unrealistic but dream about it" list.

I am celebrating a new year of life - and as such - it's time for some new lists - what I would like to accomplish this year - professionally, personally, for fun and for family. 

I keep journals - so a lot of it is hand written in my journals. Last year's list included taking a helicopter ride - and I did it! Yep. A very happy birthday to me. Just for fun - I'm adding my 'simple and fun' list here. This is what I will do before my 2013 birthday:

1. Zipline - scheduled to do but it rained, so I get to pass it to the next year.

2. Drive a tractor - um.....ooops, friend offered his tractor but I was too busy.

3. Milk a cow - check! 

4. Ride a mechanical bull - um....nope, didn't do this one. I got scared.

5. Sleep under the stars - check!

6. Catch my second fish - check! 

7. Camp - still have never done this. 

8. Explore a cave - check!

9. Hike Montana de Oro - nope.

10. Spend a weekend in a cabin - check! (Finally - Camp Nelson - 7/16  and Dunsmuir - 716 )

11. Revisit Horse creek - check!

12. Stand under a waterfall - check! check! check! check! -- stood under several of them.

13. Ride a horse for the first time - not yet.

14. Take another cruise - check, check!  4 in 2014, 2 in 2015

15. Go rollerskating - went ice skating, close enough, so - check! 

16. Arizona - Grand Canyon, Sonora, Winslow, Bisbee, Douglas - research for my novel! - went, did research on a couple of them but not all those places  but close enough, so - check!

Not totally unrealistic. Can't wait to get started on my list. I am so ready to start marking these off.....

Don't shoot the messenger

A few weeks ago I was the victim of ugly. The strange thing is, I had no idea what was really going on.

It was National Suicide Prevention Week and I was writing about it. A casual friend called me and said someone she knew had died by suicide and - if it could help someone - his daughter was willing to share how it had affected her.

In journalism, we don't cover suicides -- unless it is done in a public place (hanging at the park) or by a local figurehead.

But because it was NSPW and because technically they called me, I decided to use the opportunity to kick off my story.

After speaking with the teen daughter and teen son, and their mother, I had a little info to add to the story. It wasn't much as the children didn't say a whole lot but the wife, or ex-wife in this case, said a few nice things. I mean, I've written quite a few "Life Stories" -- stories of people who have died -- and never would I ever write something derogatory about the person who died. Had anything bad been sad, I would not write it. Not under these circumstances.

Overall, I thought it went pretty smooth.

Was I ever wrong! Apparently the children and ex wife were not liked by the man's friends.

The story ran on the day of the man's funeral. My phone started ringing and people started yelling at me.

Over the next couple of days I received ugly texts, phone call messages at work and on my cell, and at my work email. I was also defriended by a few people. One person went as far as telling me she can only wish one of my own children would die so that I would know what it was like to be betrayed - or something to that affect. Ugly - ugly - ugly. I felt like I was being bullied and stabbed in so many ways.

As a journalist, it comes with the territory. I've had people upset over things written. That's fine. No big deal. Actually, most of the time - people love me and love what I've written. But this was definitely not just not liking what I wrote but hatred towards me - to the point of wishing me bad.

I can see being hurt because you care for a deceased friend so much. I can only hope to have friends who care that much. BUT - that does not give a person a right to bully or threaten another.

One friend of mine was deeply, deeply hurt and she cried and told me she loved me but hated what I wrote - it hurt me to know I had unwillingly hurt her.

But I did nothing wrong. If anything, I thought the story was good for the children involved - one last gift for them. 

But there was so much ugly, I won't even go into the details of it.

I did reach out to a colleague - a former editor I love, admire and respect - and she suggested I write about it. Not for the newspaper, but for myself. So I did just that. I wrote about it in my journal. She also suggested, if possible, take a day off.

And I did. I surrounded myself with love - my children - and took that next Wednesday as a day off and went to the coast.

Things looked better Thursday.

Honestly, before that story - I never knew the family. And like I said, I was approached - that is why I included the personal aspect in the story. And honestly, during this time - I prayed for his two kids. Because if I, as the writer, was being treated so bad - I can only imagine what they were being treated like.

I'm sure if one of his friends reads this - I will be hated all over again. So I will say it again - don't shoot the messenger - nor the writer, the person who just so happens to be able to see both sides of the story.

Who is Trevor Jarrett?

Trevor Jarrett after performing the National
Anthem, Aug. 25 at Visalia Rawhide.
Photo by Esther Avila

Last night while at a Visalia Rawhide baseball game, a former Porterville kid (who is no longer a kid) sang the National Anthem.

Sweet, little Trevor Jarrett, who I always remember as a little kid dressing up in cute red-white-and-blue outfits and singing and dancing to everything from Yankee Doodle to God Bless America. He was one of those kids I simply just loved. Back then he performed with his brother, Tyler. (Their mom, Linda, is pretty special too - love that lady.)

I remember writing about Trevor when he performed at our annual 'City of Hope Spectacular,' when he auditioned, and made it, to Star Search in Hollywood. I also wrote about his performances at the Porterville Fair, the Tulare County Fair and I was in the audience when he won an Hosscar Award for best male juvenile in 'The Music Man' at The Porterville Barn Theatre. The Hosscars are Porterville's version of the Oscars.

But as I went through some of my newspaper story archives - I found so much more - Trevor performing at the Fourth of July Firework festivities and other local street/community festivals. It was no surprise that he won first place, child division, during Porterville's version of Star Search. Unfortunately, a server crash at work in 2004 lost most of our archives - stories written prior to 2004.

One story still touches me. I wrote about his fundraising for Hurricane Katrina victims. I had the privilege of following him, and his brother, Tyler, to present buckets of money they had collected to two families displaced by the hurricane who had relocated to Porterville. I still remember watching the families cry as they accepted it and hugging the young boys. It was a very touching journalism moment for me and one I will never forget.

Trevor Jarrett performing at the 2005 Tulare County Fair
Porterville Recorder File Photo

That year - 2005 - Trevor was all set for an 'Elvis' act at the Tulare County Fair. He had the white jumpsuit and the black wig. But after the Katrina Hurricane, his heart told him he needed to do something else.

"When I heard about the hurricane, I knew I wanted to do something different. I wanted to [sing] songs that meant something to the people affected by the hurricane," Trevor had said during my interview with him in 2005. "We set a goal of raising $1,000 and I don't know if we'll get it but we're just going to keep going and collect as much as we can."

Trevor dressed in his blue-sequined vest, white shirt and black tuxedo slacks and opened with an amazing "Bridge Over Troubled Water" - the dollar bills started flowing into collection buckets.

Just remembering all this makes me love that kid more. He was and remains to be, pretty amazing.

It wasn't his first benefit either - following the 2001 terrorist attacks, Trevor's Frank Sinatra 'New York New York' performance raised $5,000 which he presented to then New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani.

I could go on and on about Trevor Jarrett - he's just one of those kids you meet and don't forget and one I will always have a hug for - no matter how old he gets.

For fun - here are some links to just a handful of stories I've written about, or mention, him.

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/hope-10878-city-shaffer.html

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/audience-18853-city-hope.html

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/trevor-26847-hurricane-wanted.html

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/fire-20389-porterville-firefighters.html

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/best-28691-music-male.html

http://www.recorderonline.com/news/festival-12822-street-porterville.html

First time for everything - Reporter gets close look at marijuana raid

Reporter gets close look at marijuana raid

August 01, 2012 5:59 AM

By ESTHER AVILA

eavila@portervillerecorder.com

Though I have been a news reporter for more than 10 years, there is one thing I had never personally reported on — a marijuana eradication.

When I learned from my editor that I would finally have the opportunity to do just that, my mind raced. I knew sleep would be difficult the night before. I was too excited.

Not because of the plant itself, but because it meant spending the day in the mountains at Sequoia National Forest.

First, I must say, I am not your typical person. I was raised quite sheltered and was always considered different or odd by people I talked to in reference to what they considered ‘normal’ adolescent experiences. People still find it hard to believe that to this day I have never drank a beer or smoked a cigarette in my entire life.

With that said, I can honestly say that Tuesday, July 31, 2012 was a unique day for me — it was the first time I saw, touched and smelled a mature marijuana plant with blooming buds.

And, as odd as this sounds, I can say that getting there was fun. Getting back was not.

It also made me realize just how much work the Tulare County Sheriff’s Tactical Enforcement Personnel (STEP) unit — the primary team for pursuing illegal marijuana traffickers in Tulare County — are up against. Marijuana gardens in the forest are not usually simple to get to. On Tuesday, I just got lucky. Or did I?

After meeting Sgt. Chris Douglass, Tulare County Sheriff’s Department spokesperson, in Springville, photographer Reneh Agha and I became a part of the caravan led up the road, past the Springville White Barn and up Bear Creek Drive to the garden.

Parking at a 2,900 elevation, the group — seven to 10 Sheriff personnel and five civilians, a television-news reporter, Chief of Staff from Congressman Devin Nunes’ office and the field representative for Senator Jean Fuller, Reneh and myself — prepared for the steep descent to the bottom of the mountain. We were advised to watch for snakes, be aware of ticks, avoid touching poison oak and to stay close, as “bad guys” were seen in the area earlier in the day.

Within minutes, my shoes were filled with pebbles and dirt. The trail, which started simple, was covered in brush and blocked by numerous branches, many of them dried, but it was not too bad. There were several areas with slippery terrain — dirt, that when stepped on, rolled away and down the hill, causing several of us to occasionally lose our footing on the way down. Fortunately, TCSO was there with several helping hands along the way to steady us through the rough patches.

As we approached the garden area — a good 300 feet or more drop in elevation — irrigation lines leading from the waterfall via streams were pointed out. But what surprised me the most was the scent that suddenly appeared, and lingered strongly, prior to reaching what was described as the first processing center — a place where four-to five-feet tall plants had already been removed. We could smell it before we could see anything. I was also very surprised by how sticky the plant was. 

As we continued on our trek, we came across a littered makeshift camp. My first thought was ‘How can they live like this?’ and I mentally started rearranging the place to a kitchen, living, and sleeping quarters. Just as fast, my mind returned to the camp and I saw that they had a form of system already in place — including a “laundry room” where clothes hung on barb-wire and a “recreation area” where numerous porn magazines still lay. A long PVC pipe device was near the “kitchen” and I listened to a STEP officer describe how “honey butter” or “honey oil” was made by extracting THC from marijuana leaves. It was all a bit foreign, but interesting, to me.

Moving along, we came to an area of tall plants — seven to eight feet in height. I honestly had no idea these plants grew so tall or could thrive so well.

As our tour came to an end, and following a long break, we prepared for the return to our vehicles. The return, it turned out, was what seemed to be 20 times harder than the descent into the garden. Everything was suddenly a steep uphill climb, and with my shoes slip-sliding on soft, loose dirt, I found myself needing a few rest sessions along the way. My face and hair damp from sweat and with water that I used to frequently drench myself. There were areas that required one to almost crawl up the dirt, holding on to anything that wouldn’t move. It was not easy but I made it — thanks to perseverance and a few helping hands that helped me pull myself up from rocks and sandy inclines along the way.

All in all, I would say it is an experience I will not forget and one that I can add to my list of unique-story coverage.

Contact Esther Avila at 784-5000, Ext. 1045. Follow her on Twitter @Avila_recorder.

Summer Dreams

Now that my hectic May is over I can start dreaming about my own summer projects and trips.


I know I've been talking about cleaning out, painting and setting up my cottage guesthouse (currently used as a storage/junk room) for a long time. I had even given up on the dream. But, like my wild jumanji plant that grows wild all over my home, the dream is back and stronger than ever. I want that place so bad! It's been a dream for years. And I want to cover the cottage with my Morning Glory vine.

I want to do a bit of research for my novel - which means some (possibly) dangerous travel. A cousin of mine has a cabin in the nearby mountains and said I can borrow it. That is very tempting - especially since there are archaeological finds in the area - another "summer must" I would love to enjoy.
I also want to zip line this summer in the mountains! I am really looking forward to that. And I want to catch my first fish (though not sure I can eat it.) When it comes to fish, I only like Tilapia and Mahi Mahi.
But perhaps I can accomplish both of these things with my research trip.

Gotta love summer days!

Burton School District Graduations 2012

Class of 2012

Burton Pathways Charter Academy and Summit Charter Collegiate Academy

Burton Pathways Charter Academy - Reynaldo Lara Cervantes

Burton Pathways Charter Academy's Commencement Ceremony - 6 p.m. Friday, June 1, 2012 at Summit Charter Academy - Matthew Campus

Summit Charter Collegiate Academy's Class of 2012

Commencement Ceremony - 7:30 p.m. Friday, June 1, 2012

SCCA Scholarship Night

SCCA - Korey Huff - Perseverance Story

PUSD Graduations 2012 - Porterville,California

Porterville Unified School District's Class of 2012
Scholarships, Graduations and Perseverance stories by Esther Avila

* California State Seal of Biliteracy
* Honor Roll Schools
* Monache, Granite Hills, Porterville - make list of top USA high schools

Photo by Esther Avila

Monache High School

* Scholarship Night
* Graduation
* Perseverance story: Andrew Velasquez

Granite Hills High School
* Scholarship Night
* Perseverance story: Ernestina Quintero

Recorder photo by Cheiko Hara

Porterville High School
* Scholarship Night
* Graduation
* Gates Millennium - Lucero Martinez
* Perfect attendance - Raziel Castro Garcia

Photo by Esther Avila

Butterfield Charter High School
* Graduation
* Perseverance story: Mary Bushnell

Harmony Magnet Academy
* Scholarship Night
* Perseverance story: Diana Ramos

Recorder photo by Reneh Agha

Citrus High School
* Graduation

Strathmore High School
* Scholarship Night

Recorder photo by Cheiko Hara

Porterville Adult School
* Graduation

The following 2012 graduations were covered by other reporters:
GraniteHills, HarmonyMagnet, Strathmore,

Recorder Photo by Cheiko Hara - Strathmore High School Commencement - May 25, 2012

Porterville College 2012 Graduations

Class of 2012
Porterville Scholarships, Graduations and Perseverance stories I have written 


Kern Community College District

Recorder photo by Cheiko Hara

Porterville College
* Scholarship Night
* Graduation
* Perseverance story: Phil Duncan, 2012 PC Scholar of the Year
* RN Graduation

Phil Duncan - PC Scholar of the Year - Recorder photo by Reneh Agha

Desensitized

A recent photo that ran in our newspaper has received a lot of comments from people who find it distasteful. The photo is of a city refuse truck that hit a motorized wheelchair in a cross walk.

The wheelchair was dragged and is seen under the front passenger tire. The man's legs/feet are seen laying midway between the front and back tires. Is it disturbing? Well, yes. But so were the photos from 9-11, tsunamis, earthquakes, and other horrible catastrophes.

Ok, so this is not a national catastrophe. But it's just as important. It's journalism.

Yes, I know it is sad for the family. It's also sad for the driver of the vehicle. I can only imagine what that poor man is going through. God bless him and all the families involved.

It's actually a mild photo. It could be worse. One local television station said (to us, not to the public) "If it bleeds, it leads." 

May 22, 2012 Recorder Photo by Reneh Agha 

That's just the way it is in journalism.

We're there to be the eyes and ears and report what has happened. If we aren't there, we get criticized. If we are, we get criticized. It comes with the territory. 

Are we desensitized? Maybe. I know I'm not shocked by things that happen daily.

Yes, I feel for the families and am respectful to them, giving them space and backing off when they ask me to during certain incidents.

But there are other times when we have to be there, asking questions and reporting. In my job, people either love me or hate me.

I know this sounds morbid, but as an emergency-room nurse, I always got excited with the sound of sirens. Not that I wanted anyone to be hurt but as a way to prepare for whatever was to come in next. You never knew what would come in through the door.

I've seen my share of "horrible" accidents when I worked at the Emergency Department at Sierra View District Hospital. Many of them were horrid - a 3 year old child raped and sodomized; a high school classmate (four years after graduating) with third-degree burns (later died) from a stove explosion; two high school friends who were killed in a car accident; two college friends who had moderate to major head injuries (and neither was ever the same again) after a car accident and a boating accident; two young children (the smell of burned human flesh is probably the worst thing I ever dealt with and it stayed with me a long time) who were brought in from a house fire and died after we tried for two hours to save them; a homeless man whose leg was crawling with maggot; and a man who was shot in the abdomen and brought to the ER by his friends. The car pulled up honking and friends screaming for help. Back then, we'd run out and get them. I was wearing a white nurses' uniform and, as the nurse on duty, helped pull the man out of the car. His blood, feces, vomit and alcohol smeared all over my uniform. Totally disgusting but I was unable to change until we stabilized him. He lived.

In each case, my heart hurt - especially when we had to tell the family that their loved one did not make it. The doctor and a nurse always did that. Many times I was the nurse who went in with the doctor. It was always the same way. We'd call the family into a private room -- usually they suspected what was coming -- and then the two of us would go in. When a different nurse went in, it still got to me. You could never hear the doctor, the news was always delivered in a low, sad voice. But outside the doors - you could suddenly hear the loud wailing and if I happened to glance through the window, could see bodies collapsing to chairs or the floor as they heard the devastating news. I remember times when a person would grab me and cry on me until I helped them to a chair or until another family member stepped in to take the person away. 

They knew we cared. I didn't have to cry with them, though at times I did shed some tears - even the doctor had tears. I was not insensitive then and I'm not now. As I cover death and tragedies (not necessarily with death, but house fires and car accidents) I always remember that this could very well be a loved one. I try to be respectful and sensitive.

But back to the photos -- it's nothing personal -- we're not trying to go out of our way to "sell papers" as people like to say. That's not it at all. 

And if anything - I hope people will realize that this accident could happen to them or their loved one!

PLEASE - always make eye contact with the driver before crossing in front of them. I know that pedestrians have the right of way -- but it does no good if you're killed. Who are you going to tell? God? "But God, I had the right of way."

I've been at crosswalks and could start walking - but I look up at the driver and there have been several times where he's looking one way and then starts moving forward without looking back to my side. Had I started crossing in those instances, I would have been killed - well, hit for sure. Please teach your children and tell everyone - no matter what age - to see the driver. It really can be a matter of life and death.

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's A MISSILE?

Photo by Esther Avila - May 18, 2012
Santa Barbara, California

I'm not one to say that I believe in the Chemtrail conspiracy. But I have friends who do. Still, I can't help but question, and be puzzled, with the strange markings that constantly plague the skies -- and yes, especially following a refreshing rain that has left the skies beautiful, blue and perfect -- a perfect clean slate for graffiti-marking gangs, each one with its' own agenda.

Perhaps there is some truth to what conspiracy-believing people say -- that the government is behind it all.

Two days ago, I witnessed a very strange "chemtrail" myself. It was Friday, May 18 in Santa Barbara. I was at my daughter's graduation -- when suddenly - out of nowhere - something shot across the sky slower than a speeding bullet. It was not fast.
It was not a contrail from a jet -- as there was no jet seen. So what was it? And how far up and how far away?

I remember contrails from when I was a little girl. That is different. I've also seen the so-called strange chemtrails - and am not sure what those are. But this thing Friday - I had never seen anything like it before in my life.

A friend of mine wrote that it could possibly be a missile. One supposedly was launched that same day from Vandenberg Air Force Base - just 33 miles from where I stood. I am guessing that's what it was. But honestly, I just don't know. The verdict is still out. Was it some kind of alien thing? No. Not that. This was too simple to be them.

Click here for another story on this strange phenomenon.

I only did this one little thing ...... not!

This is me - in April of 2011 and again April of 2012
No surgery. No drugs. Just changed a couple of things.

Since posting on my personal Facebook page that I have lost 30 pounds since December, many people have asked me for my secret. Fact is, I don't have one. I did joke on Facebook that all I did was follow "this one simple trick" -- basically, making fun of all the ads that say the same thing, but when you click on them, they never tell you what the secret is unless you send money.

But back to my situation. Yes, I am excited about my loss, but even more so about losing more. But I haven't. I've been at a stand still again. I say again because this happened when I hit a 25-pound loss. Thus the reason I finally decided to "come out" and post some before and after photos. Not for you, but for me! To encourage myself to keep going and not fall back and regain any of it back. The way I see it, if I admit the weight loss publicly - I will be more determined to keep it off. And, it's nothing miraculous I did and yes, I will share with you. But first - I want to share some info from my childhood.

SKINNY as a skeleton
I was always thin. Very thin. Too thin. I  literally got knocked over on super windy days. I could hide behind a telephone pole and not be seen. I was the kid who would cry every Valentine's Day because my little Valentines bag would be filled with every skeleton-picture valentine found in each sold box. Once, in fifth grade, I got 18 of them - "I can feel it in my bones - be my Valentine" they all said. I laugh now, but I cried back then. It was cruel and not funny. I was also tall - so I also got the giraffe valentines. I was teased and yeah, bullied, because of my thin frame.... probably the reason I was always so quiet. I tried not to bring attention to myself.

High school was different and fun - since I marched with the school band - first drill team, then banner girl, and my senior year as an Orange Blossom - I was the first "L" in "PORTERVILLE!"  I loved those years. I was still thin and tall - and still got occasional mean comments from mean girls, but I survived.

By college, I finally managed to get up to 110 pounds and loved it! I was very active too. I got brave and tried out and made it as a PC cheerleader. I also ran on the cross country and track teams for Porterville College for two years.

After PC, I attended Barbizon School of Modeling in San Jose (Any of you ever guess I used to be a model? ) For a short while I was - once earning $600 for a 30-minute modeling stint in Vancouver, Canada!  I was photographed a few times and then walked down a walkway twice - wearing nothing more than a fur coat and heels. But I was a good Christian girl and modeling required doing things I didn't feel comfortable doing. I talked to my pastor who agreed I shouldn't be there and I decided to let it go. I don't regret getting out of it - I'm sure life would have been a lot different for me had I stayed in that environment but it wasn't for me. When it came to big cities and modeling, I was a timid, shy, small-town girl. I didn't have the necessary personality for it. No regrets.

Fast forward - marriage, children, returning to school, single parenting.......
Not totally sure when I started gaining weight. Whenever it was, it happened gradually - over years.

But last August - during a wonderful Florida vacation with my three girls, I injured my right knee. I managed, in pain, but each day it got worse - not better. Finally getting to the point where I could not walk up stairs.

After I returned home - and to work - I was at a local high school for a story and I could not go up the stairs. (GHHS Pyramid) I stood there, with the high school girl looking at me, asking if I was ok. I said yes, but I wasn't. I told her I had an old leg injury and I was slow but I was fine. I told her I'd meet her at the top of the stairs (at least 20 of them) but she didn't leave. She took one step at a time with me. It was humiliating for me. That was when I knew I had to do something and went to see Dr. Tindall.

My orthopedic doc said I had a choice - surgery or lose weight.

Losing weight would be simpler and healthier. But too hard for me. Or so I thought. I was thinking exercise program and such -- something I never had time for since I work long hours, commute, and take care of handicap sister and my elderly mother with little help from anyone else.

HEALTH SCARE:
In October my blood pressure shot up again - to 200/100 (normally it runs very low - almost too low) so for me it scared me. I did not want another Bells Palsy incident.
I got myself to Sansum Clinic in Santa Barbara and restarted my medication - being careful to monitor my blood pressure - not because it could go high - but from going too low - which makes me super light headed when it happens.

I also decided I'd get a full physical. The physical involved not eating for a day and since I hadn't had time to eat prior to leaving for my 3-day full checkup - I was without food for 2 days. The next day, I just couldn't eat and by the fourth, fifth and sixth day - I just couldn't eat much. So I got a head start on a diet I hadn't really planned much for.

I just continued my new eating habit. It's not a doctor-recommended one -- so that's what I meant when i said to some of you that it worked for me but it's not necessarily a healthy choice I recommend. I guess this is where I say "check with your doctor first." But if you do, be prepared for him to say this is not good. :)

An APPLE a day:
From December to April and to present: Pretty much (except for rare occasions) gave up french fries, tortillas, bread and mexican rice.

Breakfast: I have always had coffee only in the mornings (an occasional bagel) - but mainly just coffee.

Snack/Lunch: I have a banana around 10 a.m., an apple at noonish (sometimes with a walk around town) I would have another apple and a Starbucks' Misto at around 2 p.m. and another banana on my way home around 7 p.m.

Dinner: A real dinner- mainly consisting of Tilapia fish, with vegetables and steamed rice. Or grilled chicken breast and a little pasta. Lots of spinach salad - love that. And, I've never been a dessert person, so I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.

Late night snack: Cornflakes! which I happen to love! (but not too often - usually I just have coffee at 7 or 8 p.m.)

But I started noticing that certain days, I'd feel real light headed. So by April I changed my lunch to include an apple, string cheese and/or a small yogurt - and if I felt weak, a sandwich - no mayo, just mustard.
I do have an occasional lunch out - it's not like I can't. When I do, I just adjust and have cornflakes for dinner or late evening.

Tricks: I like placing my apple on the top of my computer at work - it motivates me and reminds me to eat healthy.

A banana on my way home helps me not to get home starving and munching. Drink lots of water - very important. And you must do some kind of exercise. I do wii dance at home - and while watching television, try to remember to do arm lifts - bending at elbow for biceps and above head to work on triceps with weights.  I've got a long way to go but feeling better.

So that's it. That's my secret. See, I told you it was not really a secret and not anything big. But it's been working for me. Yes, there are days I am hungry. And if it's close to lunch or dinner, I eat. That's how it works. So far I'm not starving all day long, but if I want something - there's always an apple.

The above photos are real photos. Not the best but it was two that showed the difference - and both were taken in April. The first one during our town's - Porterville Corporate Games 2011 - and the second one a year later, to the day, while I was at Diamondback's Salt River Fields at Talking Stick - Spring Training in Scottsdale, Arizona with my girls. I love baseball and spent a couple of weeks out there.

Championship win for Granite Hills High School

Top - Recorder Photo by Cheiko Hara. Clown: Photo of Abraham Leon by Ryan Garcia

There was no doubt whatsoever in my mind that the Granite Hills High School Winter Percussion Ensemble would win the PPAACC Championship title today. How could I doubt it? The drumline is amazing!
They have placed first in three out of four competitions. The time they received a second place win - they lost by 1/10th of a point. Wow - goes to show - every single every fragment of a point counts when you are this good.
On Saturday, the team took the floor for a 10 a.m. competition, and by early afternoon - were finally acknowledged as the champions they already knew they were.

Congratulations, Granite Hills High School Drumline, band director Kenny Ormonde and drumline instructors, Ryan Garcia and Cody Clem! You all totally rock! I am so proud of you.

Coulrophobia - fear of clowns - is not the reason drumline ensembles from throughout the Valley, including some from the Los Angeles area, should fear the Granite Hills High School Winter Percussion Ensemble....The real reason? The band is amazing and should be feared!  Click on story below.

Going for the championships

Porterville - the town that is all about band

There is no question about it. I love anything that has to do with high school marching band and I consider myself blessed for growing up and living in the place that basically set the bar for it - PORTERVILLE.
We have a long history - more than 100 years - of band music. Our own Porterville High School not only has the oldest-continuous marching high school band in the state of California - but also in the nation!

Recently we unveiled a beautiful 100-foot long mural at Centennial Park in downtown Porterville.

That day was one that I will remember forever. To be there and watch Porterville High, Monache High and Granite Hills High bands march in, one by one, and gather - facing the park - and listening to them play the National Anthem and a patriotic medley - I loved it. Later, listening to everyone talk about our great band leaders - and listening to Jim Kusserow play "Amazing Grace" on trumpet as doves were released. I felt tears on my face. And as the band mural itself was unveiled - and seeing it, after years of anticipation, for the first time in all it's 100-foot long glory -- It was more than my heart could take.

I stood there in silence, in awe, not of the mural itself but of our town, the people who made the mural itself possible, our bands - all of them. I walked to the Time Marches on Clock - the one with the bronzed figurine of Buck Shaffer, baton in hand, leading the band - and I sat in silence. I thought about Buck Shaffer and of my love for music, band, our veterans and America. It all came rushing in at once. It was an explainable experience and one I don't claim to understand.

Do you know how you hear that right before a person dies, you see your life flash before your eyes?

I had something like that happen to me. I, in fast seconds yet in perfect clarity, saw myself at age 4 - meeting and talking to Buck Shaffer for the first time, I saw Martha Anderson introducing us to Lynn Enos when she first arrived to PHS - and loving her from day one! I saw myself standing on the football field, waiting for halftime to begin and smiling/laughing as the band came out in double time with their then traditional high-kick march - half running/half marching. I remembered how I felt at my very first ever Band-A-Rama - an experience I will never forget, and how I felt when I marched onto Jamison Stadium for my first-ever halftime show - and walking out onto the filled-to-capacity stadium to march at several Los Angeles Rams halftime shows. I remembered Gerald Ford shaking my hand and telling me he liked my smile and how sharp I looked in my Orange Blossom uniform, the super bright television lights that almost blinded me as the band marched around a bend in the street during a Hollywood Christmas Parade and marching in Disneyland year after year. The fast, yet completely focused pictures and feelings kept coming - my first East Coast Tour - seeing the Statue of Liberty for the first time, looking up at amazement as our bus drove past the Empire State Building and having the Twin Towers pointed out o us as we drove by on our way to tour the United Nations in New York City.

I felt tears once again as I thought of Buck Shaffer - and of some of his final days and felt grateful I was able to spend so much time with him at the end, visiting him daily for weeks.Later of traveling to Shinnston, his hometown, and touring his childhood home, Shinnston High School, the cemetery where many Shaffers are buried, and attending, and reporting on the Fabulous Studio Band Concert in Buck Shaffer's hometown.

How was it possible to see all that during a few minutes, I don't understand.

It could not have been more than two or three minutes. I got up, walked to the mural and continued talking to people. They all talked about the same love, the same respect, they felt for Buck Shaffer, our current band directors and our high school bands.

.Band mural up at Centennial Park | planning, porterville, band ...

In addition, various items will be raffled between music sets. Marching through Time Mural Dedication. 10 am — Opening ...

NEWS April 9, 2012

2.Band mural unveiling April 21st | mural, porterville, unveiling ...

Shaffer died in 2005, McElfresh in 2011. “Vedra was bound determined to be at the mural dedication,” Hatfield said. And in a way, she will, he said. ...

NEWS March 23, 2012

3.Porterville High School's Orange Blossom Leticia Garcia, 17 ...

Porterville High School's Orange Blossom Leticia Garcia, 17, salutes during the dedication ceremony for the "Marching Though Time" historical band ...

NEWS April 21, 2012

4.“Marching Through Time” | day, porterville, marching ...

anticipated unveiling of the “Marching Through Time” band mural during an ... as master of ceremonies, the unveiling and dedication ceremony slated ...

NEWS April 19, 2012

5.Marching Through Time Historical Band Mural: Video ...

Dedication ceremony held Saturday, April 21, 2012, at Centennial Park /

VIDEO April 21, 2012